Well, with all the bad news, perhaps we need to be cheered up with something completely off the wall:
(Lyrics here)
Saturday, 15 December 2007
Monday, 10 December 2007
The Magical Negro theory of American Politics
[In which PiaToR talks completely out of his ass. Again.]
So I'm finally watching _The Wire_, Season One. Slow of me, I know, but I'll get round to the rest of them on DVD when I get the time. And at a certain point early in the series, I saw a certain character get up and calmly do something pretty damned clever. And I thought to myself "Oh shit, another magic negro."
Not quite that simple, of course, but the trope was definitely tweaked there.
It turns out, on reading some of the stories on Obama, that I didn't quite have the same grasp as Americans on this (comes from growing up outside the culture, I guess). I'd always associated the idea with an archetype of a calm father-figure type who knew instinctively what to do, rather than a way of dealing with white liberal guilt over race relations. In NZ we don't do stereotypes of Maoris in popular culture as a way of dealing with white liberal guilt - we do arguments over land with real Maori as a way of dealing with white liberal guilt.
But, hell, I figure my version of the "Magic Negro" is probably just what the American populace really want right now, after the trauma of the last eight years (and teh impeachment beforehand). They don't want a policy wonk (Gore). They don't want a ladykiller (Clinton). And they sure as hell don't want a smarmy proud-to-be-dumb fratboy anymore (figure it out). They want someone who they believe will know what the hell he is doing, without being arrogant, and without the likelihood of scandal. Obama doesn't really cut it.
Which leads me to my Magic Negro Theory of American Politics: "The chances of a black man being elected President are directly correlated with that black man's resemblence to Morgan Freeman".
And the First Corollary To The PiaTor Magic Negro Theory: "Nominating Morgan Freeman is a no-brainer, for either political party".
The problem of getting a black woman elected President is, surprisngly enough, much much simpler. One word, starts with "O". The real problem would be getting her to accept the drop in status being elected President would entail.
So I'm finally watching _The Wire_, Season One. Slow of me, I know, but I'll get round to the rest of them on DVD when I get the time. And at a certain point early in the series, I saw a certain character get up and calmly do something pretty damned clever. And I thought to myself "Oh shit, another magic negro."
Not quite that simple, of course, but the trope was definitely tweaked there.
It turns out, on reading some of the stories on Obama, that I didn't quite have the same grasp as Americans on this (comes from growing up outside the culture, I guess). I'd always associated the idea with an archetype of a calm father-figure type who knew instinctively what to do, rather than a way of dealing with white liberal guilt over race relations. In NZ we don't do stereotypes of Maoris in popular culture as a way of dealing with white liberal guilt - we do arguments over land with real Maori as a way of dealing with white liberal guilt.
But, hell, I figure my version of the "Magic Negro" is probably just what the American populace really want right now, after the trauma of the last eight years (and teh impeachment beforehand). They don't want a policy wonk (Gore). They don't want a ladykiller (Clinton). And they sure as hell don't want a smarmy proud-to-be-dumb fratboy anymore (figure it out). They want someone who they believe will know what the hell he is doing, without being arrogant, and without the likelihood of scandal. Obama doesn't really cut it.
Which leads me to my Magic Negro Theory of American Politics: "The chances of a black man being elected President are directly correlated with that black man's resemblence to Morgan Freeman".
And the First Corollary To The PiaTor Magic Negro Theory: "Nominating Morgan Freeman is a no-brainer, for either political party".
The problem of getting a black woman elected President is, surprisngly enough, much much simpler. One word, starts with "O". The real problem would be getting her to accept the drop in status being elected President would entail.
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Closing Time in the Pub at the End of the Mind
Closing Time in the Pub at the End of the Mind (Laura Solomon)
We are the dregs. We are what’s left over when all the sane, the normal people,
The people who instinctively know
How to keep away the wolves,
Have gone home to their wives, their lives,
Their mortgages and their other illusions of safety.
We have no nets. Beer is our high wire; our tightrope.
Drink up please.
See that one there, at the end of the bar
There’s a shadow that’s woven itself through all his days,
All his could have beens that never were,
There’s a darkness that’s woven itself
Into the very fabric of his being
There’s a hole where his soul should be
And nothing could ever fill it.
He defines the word ‘insatiable’.
Don’t we all?
Drink up please.
We are what’s left over. Scraps of people, walking clichés,
Ordinary statistics in an ordinary world,
The others feed on our misfortune. It makes them feel better about their own lives,
To see us drowning in each pint of beer.
Drink up please.
Greatness dribbles away. We let it leave.
It exits via the gaps in between our fingers
And we know better than to attempt
To clutch at it as it departs.
You might as well clasp at empty air.
Maybe if we’d made it to Finishing School
We wouldn’t feel so unfinished. Unmade, incomplete.
Somebody just had his pacemaker fitted.
Heart was beating irregular
But now he’s back in time, two-four,
And we’re all back under the table
Which is where he drank us to.
Well, we would say, hurry up,
But what is there anyway to hurry up for?
Nothing but it’s fine.
It’s dark outside but in here there’s light.
The captain bailed overboard decades ago,
But the ship sails blithely on.
Are there icebergs? Is there ice?
Yes, we are the ones who forgot to think twice.
I’ll only say this one more time.
Drink up please.
Who was it that turned water into wine?
Well, I never saw him
Don’t believe all that shit,
That gliding across the surface of things.
We sink.
We’re ten truck pile-ups on high speed motorways
We’re decades collapsing into days
We’re full of everybody else’s ways
We’re all the things that’ll never fit.
We’re not really alive
We just resemble it a little bit.
Drink up please.
We’re every book you never read
We’re fucked in the heart and we’re fucked in the head
We’re all the things that are left unsaid
We may as well be the living dead
O yea we’re doing fine.
We’re what’ll be left at the end of time
We’re staccato rhythm and a corny rhyme.
We’re all the things you’d never want to find.
Closing time in the pub at the end of the mind.
We are the dregs. We are what’s left over when all the sane, the normal people,
The people who instinctively know
How to keep away the wolves,
Have gone home to their wives, their lives,
Their mortgages and their other illusions of safety.
We have no nets. Beer is our high wire; our tightrope.
Drink up please.
See that one there, at the end of the bar
There’s a shadow that’s woven itself through all his days,
All his could have beens that never were,
There’s a darkness that’s woven itself
Into the very fabric of his being
There’s a hole where his soul should be
And nothing could ever fill it.
He defines the word ‘insatiable’.
Don’t we all?
Drink up please.
We are what’s left over. Scraps of people, walking clichés,
Ordinary statistics in an ordinary world,
The others feed on our misfortune. It makes them feel better about their own lives,
To see us drowning in each pint of beer.
Drink up please.
Greatness dribbles away. We let it leave.
It exits via the gaps in between our fingers
And we know better than to attempt
To clutch at it as it departs.
You might as well clasp at empty air.
Maybe if we’d made it to Finishing School
We wouldn’t feel so unfinished. Unmade, incomplete.
Somebody just had his pacemaker fitted.
Heart was beating irregular
But now he’s back in time, two-four,
And we’re all back under the table
Which is where he drank us to.
Well, we would say, hurry up,
But what is there anyway to hurry up for?
Nothing but it’s fine.
It’s dark outside but in here there’s light.
The captain bailed overboard decades ago,
But the ship sails blithely on.
Are there icebergs? Is there ice?
Yes, we are the ones who forgot to think twice.
I’ll only say this one more time.
Drink up please.
Who was it that turned water into wine?
Well, I never saw him
Don’t believe all that shit,
That gliding across the surface of things.
We sink.
We’re ten truck pile-ups on high speed motorways
We’re decades collapsing into days
We’re full of everybody else’s ways
We’re all the things that’ll never fit.
We’re not really alive
We just resemble it a little bit.
Drink up please.
We’re every book you never read
We’re fucked in the heart and we’re fucked in the head
We’re all the things that are left unsaid
We may as well be the living dead
O yea we’re doing fine.
We’re what’ll be left at the end of time
We’re staccato rhythm and a corny rhyme.
We’re all the things you’d never want to find.
Closing time in the pub at the end of the mind.
Saturday, 24 November 2007
So near and yet so lame...
Uh-huh:
I'm not sure what's more troubling here - that the media (or, God help us, the researchers involved) are marketing a teacher-bot as "sultry", or that the researchers concentrated on facial recognition and seem to have forgotten to hire a good animator and voice actor...
First there was Adam and Eve, now there's just Eve - the sultry new face of online education developed to hold the attention of pupils and to respond to their emotions.
I'm not sure what's more troubling here - that the media (or, God help us, the researchers involved) are marketing a teacher-bot as "sultry", or that the researchers concentrated on facial recognition and seem to have forgotten to hire a good animator and voice actor...
Monday, 5 November 2007
Gitmo here I come...
I have a very, very vague association with one of the people arrested in the farcical "anti-terror" swoop. Mutual acquaintances, who shall remain nameless. Actually, I'm a bit jealous - I always wanted an assault rifle, and it turns out Valerie had one. It would have made contract negotiations so much more entertaining.
Lessee - the US already kidnaps foreign nationals, holds them without trial and without rights, and denies them access to the courts - and I've been pretty loud in criticising the US over the past few years. If I go off the Internet, look for me near Cuba...
(Oh, and U. - keep your head down, dear - I imagine Echelon has tagged everyone Valerie ever sent email to, or who they ever sent email to, and Indymedia is probably listed as a "pro-terrorist organisation" somewhere in Homeland Security's addled collective brain)
Lessee - the US already kidnaps foreign nationals, holds them without trial and without rights, and denies them access to the courts - and I've been pretty loud in criticising the US over the past few years. If I go off the Internet, look for me near Cuba...
(Oh, and U. - keep your head down, dear - I imagine Echelon has tagged everyone Valerie ever sent email to, or who they ever sent email to, and Indymedia is probably listed as a "pro-terrorist organisation" somewhere in Homeland Security's addled collective brain)
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Friday, 2 November 2007
The uselessness of being human
I dreamed last night that
you were weeping and that I
held you helplessly
you were weeping and that I
held you helplessly
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