Jump, you bastards, or we'll have you jogging as well!

Associated Press - Porky porpoises

"Dolphins at a Japanese marine park are on a diet after developing potbellies and struggling in their performances. Kinosaki Marine World said its 19 dolphins have been on a diet since August, when they started failing to hit jumping targets."

This is what losing looks like...

George Bush, 21 Nov 2005:

George Bush: 'We will stay in Iraq until we have achieved victory'

Our goal is to defeat the terrorists and allies - and their allies at the heart of their power. And so we will defeat the enemy in Iraq.

BBC World News, 17 Oct 2008:

The US says it is considering a draft agreement with Iraq on the role of its troops there after the UN mandate for their presence expires later this year.

Details have not been released, but officials say it would see US combat forces withdrawn from Iraqi towns and cities by the middle of 2009.

Iraq Today:

Thursday Oct 16th 2008
A roadside bomb in Baghdad's central Palestine Street area [...]
#4: A roadside bomb targeted an army patrol in Waziriyah [...]
#5: An adhesive bomb detonated under a civilian car [...]
#1: A suicide attacker disguised as a soldier [...]
#1: A roadside bomb detonated in Buhriz town (about 3 miles south of Baquba). [...]
#1: A suicide car bomber detonated near Balad police station around 4 pm. [..]
#1: Seven Iraqi soldiers were wounded by a hand grenade in eastern Mosul, [...]
#2: Two people were wounded when a roadside bomb exploded west of Mosul, police said.
#3: Two children were wounded by an improvised explosive device [...]
#4: Four civilians were wounded when Iraqi troops fired shots [...]

Wednesday Oct 15th 2008
MNF-Iraq is reporting the death of a Multi-National Division - Baghdad soldier [...]
[...] a body and four wounded persons as a result of a bomb explosion [...]
[...] an adhesive bomb stuck to a sedan detonated in Karrada neighborhood [...]
Five mortar rounds landed in an unoccupied area [...]
#6: Two roadside bombs exploded in quick succession [...]
#7: Three policemen were wounded when a bomb exploded [...]
#8: Three policemen were wounded on Wednesday in a bomb explosion [...]
#9: A least four civilians were wounded when mortars fell [...]
#1: A bomb went off on Wednesday morning in Baquba [...]
#1: A civilian was killed on Wednesday by unknown gunmen [...]
#1: Iraqi national guards found 22 unknown bodies in a mass grave[...]
#2: Major-General Ali al-Hamdani, [...] injured in a roadside bomb blast[...] #1“An explosive charge went off targeting an Iraqi army vehicle patrol [...]
#2: “Nine civilians were injured in a roadside bomb blast [...]
#3: Police killed one attacker when gunmen attacked their patrol [...]
#4: A police patrol mistakenly opened fire in central Mosul [...]
#6: Two children were wounded in a bomb explosion in Mosul, [...]
#7: One gunman was killed in clashes with police in southeastern Mosul,[...]

Tuesday Oct 14th 2008
CNN is reporting the death of a U.S. - led coalition soldier [...]
The Washington Post is reporting the deaths of three ISAF soldiers [...]
AMS issues fatwa prohibiting long-term pact:
Iraqi official calls U. S. troop accord unlikely: [...]
Five Turkish soldiers wounded in PKK attack in Turkey:
Moldova to pull out of Iraq by yearend:
#2: Three civilians were injured by a roadside bomb in Talbiyah [...]
#4: Five persons were injured on Tuesday night [...]
#1: Police forces found two bodies, one male one female, [...]
#1: Iraqi police said eight mortar rounds landed in the U.S. base Anaconda [...]
#1: Two separate roadside bombs wounded five civilians [...]
Five civilians were injured by a bomb in Tuz Khurmatu market place
#1: An explosion struck a secondary pipeline transporting unrefined gas [...]
#1: A bomb went off on Tuesday in front of a church in central Mosul,[...]
#2: One civilian was killed and another wounded in a drive by shooting [...]
#3: Two policemen were wounded when a bomb hit their patrol [...]

Connect the dots.

How to maintain a reputation as a literary maven in one easy lesson...

...fake it.

Dispatch from the class wars...

From the Guardian:

Super times for superyachts as billionaires buy into maritime bling

Monte Carlo boat show finds demand for floating palaces higher than ever
[...]

While others panic about the financial crisis, this weekend's Monaco Yacht Show proved that the mega-rich have never been richer. Yacht brokers describe an eastern European new rich, boosted by oil wealth, keen to outdo their rivals. Middle Eastern viewers and occasional Latin Americans are following suit.

As the number of multi-billionaires grows, the superyacht industry is enjoying such a boom that demand for the most expensive models outstrips supply. Boats built to personal specifications have grown to such vast proportions that the labels superyacht and megayacht are no longer enough. Those on the dockside now talk of the gigayacht - multi-storey, 120-metre floating mansions that resemble cruise liners. The cost of the biggest new boats exceeds €200m

200. Million. Pounds.

This is going to make it difficult for the hordes of peasants with pitchforks and flaming torches.

But we'll figure out a way, you fuckers, we'll figure out a way...

Huge amounts of drugs and drink to drown the heartache...

"Scarlett Johansson has married actor Ryan Reynolds in a hush-hush ceremony in his native Canada."

Why, Scarlett, why? Weren't the letters enough to intrigue you? The threats to your dog not sufficient motivation? The soaking in gasoline and offer to immolate myself outside your house not sufficient proof of my devotion? We both know your heart said "Yes, yes", even if your lawyer said "Restraining order!"

And with a Canadian, no less!

Once again, we must turn to modern ballads to express our feelings.

Spending tomorrow for tax cuts today (with Southpark)

Interested in a simple explanation comparing the effects of National vs Labour tax proposals?

Watch this.

Also useful - Paul Krugman's "Pop Internationalism".

New Zealand suffers from a basic macroeconomic flaw - we use way too much overseas capital. We must increase domestic savings. Kiwisaver is one component of such an effort.

And National want to gut it in order to win this election. If you have children aged 12 or less now, they won't be thanking you for this by the time they enter university. Indeed, I expect that it will form a major part in any first year essay on "Why is the NZ economy so fucked up now?" come 2015.

But, hey, Helen Clark is just too annoying - time for a change, right?

Me, I'm going to complete my qualification and position myself to shift to Australia if need be...

In the long run, we're all dead anyway - so why not party?

Now that we've established that (i) Wellington has not blown into the sea (yet) and (ii) I am a credulous fool (and, S. - "gullible" is SO in the dictionary!), via the Wellingtonista: