Thursday, 27 September 2007

I'll be in my bunk

Okay, this has to be due to morphic resonance or something:

'Brady Bunch' Star Reveals All About Lesbian Fling With TV Sister?

You know, now that I come to think of it, Marcia Brady may well have been the first round-faced blonde on whom I developed an obsession. She wasn't the last. Stop laughing, Bekitty.

Mind you, at the same time I also thought Abba was the epitome of cool...

(Probably not true, mind you, but why let facts stand in the way of a good story?)

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Let the bullshitting commence

Latest poll:

September 2007 - More than 1,000,000 Iraqis murdered

In the week in which General Patraeus reports back to US Congress on the impact the recent ‘surge’ is having in Iraq, a new poll reveals that more than 1,000,000 Iraqi citizens have been murdered since the invasion took place in 2003.

Previous estimates, most noticeably the one published in the Lancet in October 2006, suggested almost half this number (654,965 deaths). These findings come from a poll released today by O.R.B., the British polling agency that have been tracking public opinion in Iraq since 2005. [...]

Detailed analysis (which is available on our website) indicates that almost one in two households in Baghdad have lost a family member, significantly higher than in any other area of the country. The governorates of Diyala (42%) and Ninewa (35%) were next.

The poll also questioned the surviving relatives on the method in which their loved ones were killed. It reveals that 48% died from a gunshot wound, 20% from the impact of a car bomb, 9% from aerial bombardment, 6% as a result of an accident and 6% from another blast/ordnance. This is significant because more often that not it is car bombs and aerial bombardments that make the news – with gunshots rarely in the headlines.

As well as a murder rate that now exceeds the Rwanda genocide from 1994 (800,000 murdered), not only have more than one million been injured but our poll calculates that of the millions of Iraqis that have fled their neighbourhoods, 52% have moved within Iraq but 48% have crossed its borders, with Syria taking the brunt of refugees.

I am now taking odds on what the prevailing wisdom will settle on as the best way to deal with this:

a) I didn't see a million Iraqi obituaries in the LA West Shopper, therefore a million Iraqis cannot be dead.

b) The graveyard in Al Jahkarb St in Baghdad is, like, really really small, therefore a million Iraqis can't be dead.

c)The Opinion Research Bureau is a Chomskist front which doesn't know anything about sampling, therefore a million Iraqis can't be dead.

d) Al Qaeda is really really nasty, and the US Army only uses targetted pillows whereever civilians might be involved, therefore if a million Iraqis are dead due to us choosing to launch a war against a country that didn't attack us, it still isn't our fault - it's Osama's!

e) Look - O J Simpson!