Ten Basic Principals for Conservatives
1. Obama is president in name only. He is not an American citizen. His color is not the issue. Colored people have rights too. They can be president but they have to be born here. Negroes should be thankful that slavery brought their ancestors here so that they could become American citizens. Obama is not American, so he has no right to be president and he is a socialist and should be impeached.
2. Taxes are what kill this country. We pay taxes and where does the money go? To the government, that’s where. And government can’t do anything right. Besides tax money is spent, spent, spent on entitlement programs for moochers, like welfare and food stamps for people who won’t work for a living.
3. Illegal aliens will bring America down. They come here and have kids and think they can become like us. But they can’t because they are illegal. That means they are breaking the law by being here. They mooch off us and take our tax money and commit crimes and put a burden on all law-abiding Americans. There is one solution: round them up and send them back and seal off our borders. If they have kids here, send them back too. A few massive deportations will send the message that they are not wanted here.
4. There is no such thing as good government. Government can’t do things right. Government should be very small and very powerless. Except for the military which has to be the best in the world to defend our freedoms.
5. America is the best country in the world. Period. No other country comes close. We saved the world in two world wars and we kick ass if anyone tries to mess with us. Europeans are weenies. They expect an easy life and handouts from their government. They should stand up for themselves.
6. Terrorists or anyone who coddles them should be rounded up. Killed, if possible, but at least rounded up and kept in Guantanimo. Use whatever techniques are necessary to get the bastards to talk. I don’t care if you pull their teeth one at a time or chop off a few fingers. Damn it, they are less than human and don’t deserve any rights. And isn’t it interesting that terrorists are muslims? Names like Abdulla and Mohammed and Achmed. You never hear of a terrorist named Jim or Bill. Their religion is a terrorist religion, so they are all the same. They are trying to destroy America and with it our Christian religion.
7. Socialism is bad. Period. It’s like communism, only worse. It makes people dependent and no one will work under socialism. People need incentive to work and make money otherwise they will mooch off the rest of us. So if you think socialism is such a good idea look what happened to the Nazis when they tried it. And the Russians too.
8. Enough about these “gay” people. They are homosexuals and that is a sin. No doubt about it they will go after our kids if you let them. And they should not be in the military. Who wants to serve next to some fag who is looking to satisfy his perverted desires? They should all stop parading around flaunting that they are degenerites.
9. Liberals are worse than dirt. All they want is to give money to “poor people” but we know that really means take money from me and you and give it to those who don’t work for it. And liberals love the homosexuals. And they are all in charge of TV and the movies. They are both against America and the freedoms we stand for.
10. Guns are our only protection against the liberals and the socialists. That’s why they don’t like us having guns. They know that if we have guns they can’t take what we have. If any liberal shows up on my front porch looking for my cash he will be sprouting wings and a harp real quick.
If you believe in these principals, send this to everyone you know. We need to take America back from the socialists and the communists. If you don’t send this, you are just like the socialists and the communists. Stand up for America NOW before its too late!
Now, this lies on the cusp between parody and reality. From what I've seen in literally *decades* on the Internet, these are roughly what American wingnuts believe - even if they tend to be more subtle in expressing them. I'm not kidding - I've seen the "Negroes should be thankful that slavery brought their ancestors here so that they could become American citizens" argument used non-ironically by a wingnut. If you read their rants with a clinical fascination, just these sorts of beliefs bleed through.
The consensus on MRWD is that it's probably a parody - but only because, apart from the (deliberate?) spelling error in the title, it's well written. Make your own mind up - and keep the list in mind as a score sheet when reading wingnuts.
