Pensioner Lois Thompson says the kids in her neighbourhood probably think she can be "a bit grumpy" at times.
"I tell them to get off my fence and climb on their own fence," says the 76-year-old.
"They say, 'We haven't got one', so I say to them, 'Well tell your parents to build one'."
Now the Hamilton great-grandmother has cemented her fierce reputation by using her rolling pin to fight off a teenager who tried to break into her house.
[...]
"So I grabbed my rolling pin and really gave it to him," said Mrs Thompson.
"And then I thought, 'Oh, I hope I haven't broken his teeth or his nose', but I really let fly. I hoped I really hadn't damaged him."
After receiving at least three blows to the head, the teenager slumped back on to the doorstep, crying and holding his face.
Police arrived not long after and found that the boy - who had had a "wee accident" and had stripped down to his boxer shorts - was keen to be taken away.
What ever happened to the good old days, when we had real teenage hoodlums?
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