The Senior Female Relative, in her ongoing project to turn me into a civilised person, or at least one that can pass for same in low lighting conditions, has bought me and insisted I use a valance. For those of you lucky enough to not know what this is, it's a fringe to hide a mattress base - essentially a knee-length skirt for a bed.
It is complete and utter frippery with no redeeming utility value whatsoever.
I have no doubt it was invented by a woman. And probably a Senior Female Relative.